I still remember
like it was yesterday.
That sunny day in middle school
during chorus class
at the basketball court.
I don’t even know why I was upset that day.
That was the pattern for me back then.
I pushed my best friends away.
I didn’t want my anger in life
to be perceived as angry with them.
I walked away with an attitude.
laps around the court.
The constant “What’s wrongs?”
The responses of “Nothing”
I walked fast and angrily in hopes of finally pushing them away.
“I’m not about to keep chasing her.”
but that wasn’t your response
I was so happy in my sadness
to be alone in it
But I wasn’t alone
I kept walking
and eventually, notice
you’re not far behind
Far enough to give me space
Close enough to have my back
I turn and I stop in my tracks
I look at you
“Were you really gonna keep following me,even though I was ignoring you?”
and you nodded
You made a silent vow not to leave my side
I hugged you
And I cried
On the shoulders that never left me lonely
The shoulders I needed so much more at that moment than I realized
Still to this day, it brings tears to my eyes
To think that you cared so much
and that you saw my pain
I didn’t deserve it but you knew I needed you
You were the friend I hoped to never lose
Now one that’s lost
and I hardly made an effort to show if I even cared.
When we were young
we loved each other so beautifully
Those little girls wouldn’t believe who we are to each other now.
No one.
A memory.
A stranger almost.
Do you ever wish I chased you the way I chased her?
The one who wouldn’t chase me before when you did?
I wonder what difference would’ve been made
If I did.
If I would’ve worked to fix us before I ever let go
You probably never knew there were problems to be fixed.
That was the main problem.
Things just worked out differently for us I guess.
but who knows what the future holds…
If I reached out…
would you take my hand?
Would you cry on my shoulder the way I cried on yours all those years ago?
Maybe not
but I’d let you.
And I’d cry too
And I’d think about that day that
Thank you so much for sharing. 🩷✨
This is beautifully honest and heartbreaking. It captures the pain of growing apart from someone who once meant everything. That memory on the court says so much. How even in silence, they showed up for you. If you ever reach out, I hope they remember it too.